Domestic violence—also known as intimate partner violence (IPV)—goes beyond bruises and broken bones. It’s a pattern of controlling behavior used to gain power over a partner or family member. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual, or psychological—even if no physical force is used.

This post breaks down the most common forms of domestic abuse, so you can recognize them early, support others, or seek help.

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This is the most visible form of domestic violence, but not the only one. It includes:

• Hitting, slapping, punching, or kicking

• Pushing, shaking, or restraining

• Choking or strangling (a major homicide risk)

• Using weapons or threatening to

• Blocking exits to prevent escape

• Forcing medication or denying access to healthcare

If you’ve experienced strangulation, seek immediate medical care—it can cause delayed injuries.

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Emotional abuse aims to break your spirit and create constant fear or confusion. Signs include:

• Insults, put-downs, and constant criticism

• Gaslighting—making you doubt your memory or reality

• Isolation from friends, family, or work

• Intimidation with looks, gestures, or silence

• Threats of suicide or harming pets

• Blaming you for their behavior

This form of abuse often precedes physical violence.

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Also called economic abuse, this form limits your ability to be independent. It can involve:

• Controlling all household money or refusing to give you any

• Forcing you to beg for basic needs

• Taking your paycheck or government benefits

• Ruining your credit or identity by opening debt in your name

• Blocking you from working or going to school

Financial abuse is extremely common—even in relationships without physical violence.

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Sexual abuse can happen even in long-term relationships or marriages. It includes:

• Forcing sex or sexual acts without consent

• Coercing you into unwanted sexual activity (with threats or guilt)

• Reproductive control—tampering with birth control or forcing pregnancy

• Criticizing or shaming your body or sexuality

• Using sex as a weapon or form of punishment

Consent must be ongoing—not assumed because of past intimacy or relationship status.

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Coercive control is a long-term pattern of domination and manipulation. It may include:

• Surveillance (checking your phone, emails, location)

• Controlling your clothing, food, sleep, or routine

• Threats to report you to immigration, CAS, or police

• Forcing you to isolate from support systems

• Making you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells

In Ontario, coercive control is increasingly being used in family court and protection orders—even if physical violence is not reported.

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All forms of domestic violence can cause:

• Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and chronic health issues

• Trouble concentrating or sleeping

• Shame, self-blame, or fear of speaking out

• Difficulty trusting others or rebuilding life after abuse

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• ✅ Physical – hitting, choking, restraining

• ✅ Emotional – insults, gaslighting, isolation

• ✅ Financial – control over money, employment sabotage

• ✅ Sexual – forced acts, reproductive coercion

• ✅ Coercive control – psychological dominance, threats, surveillance

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• Assaulted Women’s Helpline (24/7): 1-866-863-0511

• 211 Ontario: Dial 2-1-1 for local supports

• Luke’s Place: lukesplace.ca – Legal support for DV survivors

• Barbra Schlifer Clinic: Trauma-informed legal and counselling help

• Ontario Women’s Shelters: Free and confidential support and housing

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In Ontario, domestic violence is not a single criminal charge. Instead, it is understood as a pattern of abusive behaviours (physical, emotional, financial, sexual) committed by someone against a current or former intimate partner. The specific actions, like assault or uttering threats, are what lead to criminal charges.

Yes. This is a clear example of coercive control and financial abuse, which are serious forms of domestic violence. Abuse is about power and control, and it does not have to be physical to be harmful and illegal.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where an abuser manipulates you into questioning your own sanity, memory, or perception of reality. They may deny that abusive events happened or twist the facts to make you think you are the one at fault.

Yes, absolutely. Being married or in a relationship does not give anyone the right to force sexual activity. Any sexual act without your ongoing, enthusiastic consent is considered sexual assault under Canadian law.

Yes. You can get a restraining order based on a pattern of emotional abuse, coercive control, or credible threats of harm. A judge will consider all forms of abuse when deciding if you have a reasonable fear for your safety.

For immediate, confidential support and safety planning, you can call the Assaulted Women's Helpline in Ontario 24/7 at 1-866-863-0511. They can help you understand your situation and connect you with local resources like shelters and counselling. If you are in immediate danger, always call 911.