Safety Planning for Leaving an Abusive Relationship: What to Prepare

## 🏃‍♀️ Safety Planning for Leaving an Abusive Relationship: What to Prepare Leaving an abusive partner is incredibly brave—but it can also be the **most dangerous moment** in the relationship. Careful safety planning can help you protect yourself, your children, and your future. Whether you’re preparing in secret or looking for last-minute guidance, here’s what to think through before you go. *** ### 🗂️ Step 1: Gather Essential Documents Pack or copy important items (physical or digital): * Government ID (yours and your children’s) * Birth certificates * Passports and health cards * Financial records (banking, credit, pay stubs) * Lease, property papers, or mortgage info * Court orders, custody papers, or restraining orders * Immigration documents (PR card, work permit, etc.) > Tip: Keep them in a secure location (e.g., with a friend, in a locker, or encrypted on a USB stick) *** ### 🧳 Step 2: Pack a Go-Bag (or Two) Prepare a bag you can grab quickly if you need to leave fast: * Cash or prepaid debit cards * Medications (minimum 1–2 weeks’ supply) * Spare keys (home, car, storage unit) * Clothing and hygiene products * Cell phone + charger or battery pack * Comfort items for children (stuffed toy, blanket, book) * Emergency contact list on paper (in case phone is lost) *** ### 📞 Step 3: Arrange Safe Places to Go * Contact a **women’s shelter** in advance (they can help you plan safely) * Choose a few people you trust—someone who won’t tell your abuser * Avoid places your partner knows or could guess (e.g., a relative’s house) * Know where the nearest **hospital or police station** is in case of emergency * Keep transportation options flexible (car, ride, shelter transport) *** ### 💬 Step 4: Let Someone Safe Know * Tell one trusted person what’s happening * Give them a **code word** in case you need them to call for help * Ask them to **check in on you** discreetly and regularly * Ask if they can **store your bag or important items** *** ### 📱 Step 5: Protect Yourself Digitally * Disable shared GPS/location tracking (Google, Apple, Facebook) * Sign out of cloud accounts on devices your partner could access * Set up **new, secure passwords** for all accounts * Get a **new phone or SIM card**, if safe to do so * Avoid using shared devices to research shelters or legal aid *** ### 🚸 Step 6: Plan for Your Children * Pack birth certificates, medical info, and custody documents * Arrange emergency daycare or school pickup plans * Practice safe exit strategies and explain what to do if things escalate * Some shelters accept children—check in advance *** ### ⚖️ Step 7: Get Legal and Emotional Support * Contact **Legal Aid Ontario**: 1-800-668-8258 * Call the **Assaulted Women’s Helpline**: 1-866-863-0511 * Speak to a **family lawyer**, even briefly—many offer free consults * Seek counselling or peer support from a DV organization * Don’t wait until you’re “ready”—you deserve help now *** ### 📌 Summary: What to Prepare When Leaving * ✅ Pack documents, cash, and clothes in a hidden go-bag * ✅ Arrange where you’ll go and who you can trust * ✅ Protect yourself online and stay aware of tracking * ✅ Prep children’s essentials and paperwork * ✅ Contact shelters, legal aid, and DV services as early as possible *** ### 🧭 Ontario Resources That Can Help * **Assaulted Women’s Helpline (24/7):** 1-866-863-0511 * **ShelterSafe.ca:** Find emergency shelters in your area * **Luke’s Place:** Legal help for women leaving abuse * **Barbra Schlifer Clinic:** Legal and counselling services in Ontario * **211 Ontario:** For local supports, including housing and transportation ***