Whether you’re thinking about a restraining order, planning to leave, or just want to protect yourself, it’s smart to start documenting abuse as early as you safely can.

You don’t need to confront your abuser or press charges to begin—just keeping records can help with:

• Custody hearings

• Peace or restraining orders

• Police reports

• Family or immigration court

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• Never document abuse if it puts you at immediate risk

• Use safe storage options (burner email, password-protected file, hidden notebook)

• Don’t leave physical notes where your abuser can find them

• Consider using a secure app (like "myPlan" or "DocuSAFE" by NNEDV)

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• Date/time, location, what happened

• Description of injuries

• Photos (with date stamp if possible)

• Hospital or doctor visit summaries

• Direct quotes or threats

• Notes on manipulation or humiliation

• Impact on mental health (e.g., anxiety, fear, isolation)

• Screenshots or photos of bank denials, withheld funds, or blocked access

• Pay stubs or proof of stolen income

• Bills left unpaid to control you

• Screenshots of texts, emails, or DMs

• Records of unauthorized access to your accounts

• Log unusual surveillance, tracking, or device tampering

• Names of anyone who saw or heard abuse

• Notes if you disclosed to a friend, therapist, or worker

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• Email it to a trusted person or a hidden cloud account

• Use encrypted storage apps or password-protected folders

• Keep a burner notebook hidden in a coat, vehicle, or workplace locker

• Print photos and keep them outside the home (e.g., at a friend’s)

Pro Tip: Use vague labels like “Receipts” or “Insurance” to disguise folders or files.

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• If reporting to police: Bring your notes and evidence

• If filing for a restraining order (e.g., Form 9C in Ontario): Use examples from your records

• If seeking custody: Show patterns of control, abuse, or risk to the children

• If speaking with Legal Aid or a lawyer: Your documentation gives them a head start

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• Revisiting abusive incidents can be emotionally painful

• Try journaling in a way that helps you feel empowered, not overwhelmed

• Reach out to trauma-informed counsellors or DV advocates

• You’re doing something brave—don’t do it alone

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• ✅ Only record if it’s safe

• ✅ Include date, time, and specific details

• ✅ Use safe storage (cloud, encrypted apps, trusted friends)

• ✅ Keep copies outside the home

• ✅ You don’t have to wait to use them—your story matters now

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• Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511

• Barbra Schlifer Clinic: Legal and safety support for women

• Luke’s Place: Legal help with custody and documentation

• 211 Ontario: Find trauma counselling and local DV support

• DocuSAFE app: Free tool to document abuse safely (available on iOS/Android)

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Documenting abuse creates a detailed timeline of evidence. This can be crucial in court to show a judge a pattern of behaviour, which is much more powerful than relying on memory alone. These records can be the key to getting a restraining order, proving your case in a custody dispute, or supporting criminal charges.

This is a serious safety risk. Your priority must be to store your records in a place the abuser cannot access. If you fear your records might be found, it may be safer to confide in a trusted friend who can keep notes for you, or to wait until you are in a safe place to begin documenting.

Yes, absolutely. Documenting emotional abuse, threats, financial control, and stalking is just as important. Your detailed log of these non-physical incidents helps to establish a pattern of coercive control, which is a form of abuse recognized by the family courts in Ontario.

Your records are your evidence. You can use them to:

• Provide a detailed statement to the police.
• Fill out the affidavit for a restraining order application.
• Show your lawyer to give them a clear history of the abuse.
• Help you accurately recall events if you have to testify in court.

The most important things are dates, details, and direct quotes. Be as specific and factual as possible. For example, instead of writing "He was angry," write "On August 1, 2025, at 8:00 PM, he slammed his fist on the table and shouted, 'You're worthless!'"

You can get confidential support and advice on safe documentation from the Assaulted Women's Helpline (1-866-863-0511). They can help you create a safety plan that includes how to keep records without putting yourself at further risk. Apps like DocuSAFE are also designed for this specific purpose.