In an abusive relationship, technology is often weaponized. An abuser can use phones, email, and social media to monitor, harass, stalk, and control their partner. This is called tech-facilitated abuse, and securing your digital life is a critical part of modern safety planning.

Regaining control of your digital world can feel overwhelming, but it is achievable. This guide provides clear, practical steps for survivors in Toronto to protect their devices and online accounts.

Your smartphone holds the keys to your life. Securing it is your first priority.

• Action 1: Secure Your Lock Screen. Use a strong, unpredictable passcode (at least 6 digits) that is not a birthday, anniversary, or simple pattern. While Face/Touch ID is convenient, be aware that an abuser could try to force you to unlock your phone. A passcode is your private line of defense.

• Action 2: Check for Spyware. "Stalkerware" is software that an abuser can install on your phone to secretly track your location, read your messages, and see your photos.

  • Signs: Look for unfamiliar apps, rapid battery drain, your phone being unusually hot, or unexplained data usage.

  • Solution: For the most certainty, back up only your essential photos and contacts (to a secure cloud account, not a shared computer) and perform a factory reset on your phone. This erases everything, including hidden spyware.

• Action 3: Audit Your Location Sharing. Many apps track and share your location. Turn this off.

  • On iPhone: Go to Settings > Privacy & Security > Location Services. Review the list and turn off location access for any non-essential app. Also, check the Find My app to ensure you are not sharing your location with the abuser or their family.

  • On Android: Go to Settings > Location. You can turn off location access entirely or manage app-by-app permissions. Check Google Maps’ Location sharing feature to ensure it’s disabled.

Your email is the recovery point for almost all your other online accounts. It must be secure.

• Action 1: Create a New, Secret Email Address. Use a safe computer (e.g., at a Toronto Public Library branch or a trusted friend's house) to create a brand-new email account with a provider like Gmail or privacy-focused ProtonMail. Do not use your name or any obvious identifiers in the new email address. This will be your new, secure hub.

• Action 2: Change Passwords & Enable 2FA. On your old email account, immediately change the password to something long and unique. Critically, enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA). This means that even if someone steals your password, they can't log in without a second code that gets sent only to your phone.

• Action 3: Check Your Recovery Information. In your email account settings, check the "recovery phone number" and "recovery email." Abusers often change these to their own, giving them a backdoor to reset your password. Change them to your secure phone number and your new, secret email address.

Social media can provide abusers with a wealth of information about your location, social circle, and activities. It's time to lock it down.

• Action 1: Use the "Privacy Checkup" Tools. Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms have guided tools to review your privacy settings. Use them. Set your posts to be visible to "Friends Only," not "Public." Limit who can see your friends list.

• Action 2: Prune Your Connections. Block the abuser. Then, go a step further and remove or block their family members and mutual friends you don't trust. Abusers often use other people’s accounts (sometimes called "flying monkeys") to continue monitoring you. Be ruthless.

• Action 3: Turn Off Location Tagging. Go into your phone's camera settings and ensure it is not saving location data (geotags) to your photos. Do not post photos or "check in" from locations in real-time. Wait until you have left a location to post about it, if you choose to do so at all.

You are not alone in this. Several organizations in Toronto can provide specialized support.

• Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic: Offers legal advice and representation to women experiencing abuse, including cases involving tech-facilitated abuse and online harassment.

• Assaulted Women's Helpline: Your 24/7 first point of contact. They can connect you with emergency shelters and local services in Toronto that can help you with comprehensive safety planning, including digital safety.

• WomanACT (Woman Abuse Council of Toronto): Provides resources and advocacy to end violence against women. Their website often has educational materials that can help you understand and respond to tech-facilitated abuse.

Taking back control of your digital life is a powerful and essential step towards freedom and safety. It's an ongoing process, not a single event. Trust your instincts—if a device or account feels compromised, it probably is. Reach out to the resources above for expert guidance tailored to your situation.

Digital safety is crucial because abusers can use technology to monitor, harass, and control their partners or ex-partners. This "tech-facilitated abuse" can include tracking your location through your phone, monitoring your emails and social media accounts, and using smart home devices to intimidate you. Securing your digital life is a critical step in creating a comprehensive safety plan and reclaiming your privacy and freedom.

To secure your smartphone, start with these essential steps:

• Review Your Location Services: Go into your phone’s settings and turn off location sharing for any apps that don't absolutely need it. Be especially wary of apps like Find My iPhone/Find My Device if your abuser has access to your account.
• Change Your Passwords: Immediately change the passwords for your phone's lock screen, your Apple ID or Google account, and your email accounts. Use strong, unique passwords that the abuser could not guess.
• Check for Spyware: Look for unfamiliar apps on your phone. If you suspect spyware has been installed, a factory reset is often the safest solution, but be sure to back up your important data (photos, contacts) first.

Your email is a central hub for your digital life, so it's vital to secure it.

• Create a New, Secret Email Address: If you believe your current email is compromised, create a new one on a secure service like Gmail or ProtonMail. Do not link it to any old accounts or use any personal information the abuser might guess.
• Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA): 2FA adds a second layer of security by requiring a code from your phone in addition to your password. This makes it much harder for someone to access your account, even if they know your password.
• Check Recovery Options: Review the recovery phone number and email address on your account. Make sure the abuser does not have access to them.

Social media can be a lifeline, but it also carries risks. To stay safe:

• Review Your Friends List: Remove or block your abuser and any mutual friends who might be sharing information with them.
• Adjust Privacy Settings: Set your profiles to "private" so only approved friends can see your posts. Be careful about what you share, and avoid posting your location in real-time.
• Turn Off Location Tagging: Disable the feature that automatically tags your location in photos and posts.

Yes, abusers can use various devices for tracking. Be aware of GPS trackers that can be placed in a car or a bag (like Apple AirTags). If you find a device you don't recognize, do not confront the abuser directly. Take it to a safe place, like a police station or a local domestic violence support service in Toronto, where they can help you handle it safely.

Several resources in Toronto can help you with digital safety and tech abuse:

• The Barbra Schlifer Commemorative Clinic: Offers legal and counseling support and can provide guidance on tech safety.
• Local Shelters: Many women's shelters have staff trained to help survivors create a tech safety plan.
• Toronto Police Service: If you believe you are being criminally harassed or stalked through technology, you can file a police report.