Cottages & Campuses: DV Risks During Summer Trips and How to Plan Ahead

Summer's changes in routine—from isolated cottage trips to a student's first time on campus—can create unique risks for intimate partner violence. This guide outlines the dangers and provides crucial safety planning tips to help you and your loved ones navigate these transitions safely.

Cottages & Campuses: DV Risks During Summer Trips and How to Plan Ahead

Summer is a season of transition. Routines change, we travel, and young adults embark on new adventures away from home. While these changes are often exciting, they can also disrupt support systems and create unique situations where the risks of intimate partner violence can escalate.

Two specific scenarios present heightened vulnerability: the isolation of a cottage trip with a partner, and the newfound independence of a student heading to a university or college campus. Proactive safety planning is key to navigating both. This guide provides tips to help you, or a loved one, stay safe.


Part 1: The Cottage Conundrum – Safety Planning for Trips

A romantic getaway to cottage country can feel like a dream, but for someone in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, it can quickly become a nightmare. The very things that make a cottage appealing—privacy and isolation—are what make it so dangerous.

The Risk Profile:

  • Isolation: You are far from friends, family, and neighbours who could intervene or help. Cell service is often unreliable.

  • Lack of Resources: There are no nearby shelters, and the local police detachment may be far away.

  • Forced Proximity: There is no escape from the other person in a small, enclosed space, 24/7.

  • Increased Substance Use: Vacation atmospheres can lead to increased alcohol consumption, which can be an accelerant for violence.

Your Safety Checklist Before You Go:

  • Trust Your Gut. If you feel anxious, scared, or have a bad feeling about the trip, do not go. Your intuition is your most important safety tool. Make an excuse—claim a work emergency, sudden illness, or family issue.

  • Share Your Precise Location. Send the exact cottage address and a map pin to a trusted friend. Tell them the dates you will be there and the make/model of the car you're in.

  • Arrange a "Safe Call" Schedule. Plan to text or call your trusted friend at a specific time every day (e.g., 10:00 AM). If you miss that check-in, they know to be concerned and can take action.

  • Create a Code Word. Have a pre-arranged code word or phrase that signals you are in danger (e.g., asking about a fictional person: "How is Aunt Susan doing?").

  • Know the Local Emergency Numbers. Before you go, look up and save the number for the local Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) detachment and the nearest 24-hour hospital. Do not rely on having cell service to search for them in a crisis.

  • Pack a Hidden Go-Bag. Keep a small bag with cash, ID, medication, and a phone charger hidden in your car or a discreet place.

Part 2: The Campus Challenge – Safety for Students Leaving Home

For many young people, heading to a university or college campus is their first taste of true independence. This new environment also comes with new vulnerabilities.

The Risk Profile:

  • New Environment: They are away from their established support system of family and lifelong friends.

  • Social Pressures: The desire to fit in can lead to ignoring red flags in a new dating relationship.

  • Campus Culture: The prevalence of alcohol and drugs at parties can create high-risk situations for sexual violence.

  • Lack of Experience: A young person may not have the experience to recognize the early signs of coercive control or dating violence.

Your Safety Checklist for Campus Life:

  • Identify Campus Resources First. Before classes even start, look up and save the numbers for Campus Security/Campus Police, the Student Wellness or Health Centre, and any on-campus sexual violence support centres. Know where they are physically located.

  • Have "The Talk" About Consent. Parents and students should have frank, ongoing conversations about consent: that it must be enthusiastic, continuous, and can be revoked at any time. Discuss what healthy relationships look like and what the red flags are (e.g., jealousy, controlling behaviour, isolation from friends).

  • Establish a "Bailout" Code. Create a system where the student can call or text a parent or friend with a code phrase ("I need to ask you about that recipe," "How is the dog?"). This signals they are in an uncomfortable situation and need an "emergency" call that gives them an excuse to leave.

  • Use Location-Sharing with Trusted Friends. Encourage the use of apps like Find My among a small, trusted group of new friends. Knowing each other’s general whereabouts during a night out is a key safety practice.

  • Reinforce Trusting Their Instincts. The most important lesson is this: If a person, a party, or a situation feels wrong, it is. It is always okay to leave immediately, without making excuses.

Provincial Helplines: Support Anywhere, Anytime

These 24/7 hotlines are available from a cottage dock, a dorm room, or anywhere else in Ontario.

  • Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511

  • Talk 4 Healing (for Indigenous women): 1-855-554-HEAL

  • LGBT YouthLine (peer support line): 1-800-268-9688

Your safety is non-negotiable. By planning ahead, you can empower yourself and your loved ones to navigate these summer transitions with confidence and security.

FAQ

1. Why do domestic violence risks increase during summer, especially at cottages and on campuses?

Summer often brings changes in routine and environment that can increase the risk of domestic violence. At a cottage, isolation, lack of reliable cell service, and constant proximity to a partner can create a high-risk situation. For students starting on campus, being away from their usual support systems, coupled with social pressures and inexperience in recognizing red flags, can make them more vulnerable to dating violence.

2. What are the key safety planning tips for a cottage trip if I'm concerned about my partner's behavior?

If you're heading to a cottage and have concerns, a safety plan is essential. Key tips include:

  • Trust Your Instincts: If a situation feels wrong, it probably is.
  • Share Your Location: Let a trusted friend or family member know exactly where you are.
  • Arrange "Safe Calls": Schedule regular check-ins with someone.
  • Create a Code Word: Have a secret word that signals you're in danger.
  • Know Local Emergency Numbers: Research local police and shelter numbers beforehand.
  • Pack a Go-Bag: Have a hidden bag with essentials in case you need to leave quickly.

3. How can I help my child stay safe from dating violence when they go to university or college?

Preparing your child for campus life involves more than just packing. To help them stay safe, you should:

  • Identify Campus Resources: Research the school's security services, counseling, and health centers together.
  • Discuss Consent: Have open conversations about what consent means.
  • Establish a "Bailout" Code: Create a code word or phrase they can use to signal they need help without alerting a potential abuser.
  • Use Location-Sharing Apps: Agree to use an app like Find My Friends for an added layer of safety.
  • Encourage Them to Trust Their Gut: Remind them it's always okay to leave a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable.

4. What is a "go-bag" and what should I pack in it?

A "go-bag" is a hidden, pre-packed bag with essential items you would need if you had to leave a dangerous situation suddenly. It should include things like a change of clothes, toiletries, any necessary medication, copies of important documents (ID, passport, bank cards), and a small amount of cash.

5. What is a "bailout code" and how does it work?

A "bailout code" is a pre-arranged, innocent-sounding word or phrase that a person can use to signal to family or friends that they are in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation and need to be picked up or bailed out, without alerting the person they are with. For example, a text like, "Have you fed the dog yet?" could secretly mean, "Come and get me now."

6. Where can I find immediate help if I am experiencing domestic violence in Ontario?

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential support and resources, you can call the Assaulted Women's Helpline at 1-866-863-0511 (TTY 1-866-863-7868). This service is available 24/7 and can connect you with emergency shelters and other support services across the province.

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